Homefront: Lessons from the Greatest Generation
By Cherie Thomas Schenker
Being separated from a loved one is never easy, whether it is a spouse, child or good friend. For some, absence makes the heart grow fonder. For others, absence creates a gap that can never be bridged. But, why do we let that gap grow?
I recently finished a book called “The Greatest Generation Speaks.” This was the sequel to “The Greatest Generation.” (If you haven’t read it yet, do!) In it were letters from many servicemen their wives and family who served in WWII. Reading this book made me take a long hard look at my own grandparents.
Pearl Harbor was bombed on Granddad’s 16th birthday. He and Grandma got married on Christmas Day the next year—he was barely 17 and already working as a machinist for the MKT (Katy) Railroad. The war was on and that was the only day he had off. Only a few months later he would be stationed aboard the USS Sargent Bay (Ol’ Sarges) in the South Pacific, going on to see action at Iwo Jima, Okinawa and more. Their story was not unusual or even remarkable by the standards of the day… but by today’s standards it is quite remarkable.
Like every military spouse, my Grandmother vividly remembers the day he left and the day he came home. She would go more than two years without seeing him. In the meantime, the letters flowed back and forth. They carried news of the day, the exploits of friends and neighbors, but most of all they carried a reminder of their undying love for each other.
Granddad came home, started a business and a family, bought a house and lived the American dream. He worked hard, played hard and was grateful for everything he had, knowing that it could all be taken away in a heartbeat and knowing that he was living that dream only by the grace of God.
Fast forward, you’ll find a couple celebrating their 61st wedding anniversary and still so in love that they hold hands when crossing the street. Fast forward one more time and you’ll see a man still so in love with his wife that he makes a point to brag about how pretty she looks after coming back from the beauty shop. He was lying in a hospital bed at the time…about two weeks before he died. That is the kind of love I want. That is the kind of love I will fight for so there is never a gap that cannot be bridged.
Is it easy? No. Is it worth the work? Yes. Now and then I get down because I can’t feel my husband’s embrace or the warmth of his breath nuzzling my ear to say “I love you dear,” when he walks in the door at the end of the day. I miss him more than I can admit. But, my grandmother had it far worse. I know, to some extent, when my husband is coming home. She didn’t. Our boys went over to fight knowing that they wouldn’t come home until it was over. That could have been one year, two years, five years or in thousands of cases, never
What if tomorrow would be the last day you would see your spouse on this earth? Would you regret something you said today? Would you regret something you did today? If the answer is yes, start over. Make today the first of many days that you will answer no to that question. It can be hard. I will be the first to admit that. But keeping a loved one close, emotionally and physically is hard. Bridge the gap. Someone has to lay the first plank.
Top Five Ways to Bridge the Gap
- Swallow your pride. Pride can get you in a lot of trouble. Trust me it will taste much better than if you have to eat crow later.
- Treat someone the same way you want to be treated. I’ve heard people talk to their children and spouses horribly. Why would you call someone you love a name that you wouldn’t use in front of your grandmother or a pastor?
- Never go to bed angry. Most things really don’t matter in the big scheme of life. Let it go.
- Fill each day with hope. As Scarlett O’Hara once said, “Tomorrow is a new day.” Let whatever is bothering you set with the sun and find hope with a new day.
- Take time to sit down and actually talk. Kids, laundry, dishes and generally life gets in our way on a daily basis. Make a point to find time to actually talk and thank them for something they did for you today—however large or small. Everyone appreciates being appreciated. People are not mind readers and it isn’t fair to expect them to be.
Cherie Thomas Schenker lives in rural Kansas with her husband Kevin and three children. They own and operate Schenker Family Farms.
